Evaculate Immediately
Starting... I think... my migration to the EU from the USA.
Back when I worked at FWI (now Poppulo) there was a Sales Engineer (I think it was Terry Watson, whose unfortunate email address was first-initial-last-name) that built out a complex digital signage demo for a client. When we triggered the emergency alert feature in the live demo with the client, a big flashing red box on the screen said:
EVACULATE IMMEDIATELY
This is the first post in a series about my decision-making, planning, and execution around moving my ass to Europe. My plan is to document this process and my decision-making about my current life and potentials, and my conflictedness about all of it, in a lot of detail.
When I told my folks about this plan, they immediately thought it was bad and stupid; either I don’t understand NSPM-7 and related documents, or they don’t. Their first instinct was to tell me how persecuted Catholics were in this country. I tried to explain, but Dad said pretty much literally “it can’t happen here.” I have some older posts about these frustrating exchanges with them. They say they don’t “support” Trump, but when we discuss it they’re constantly going to bat for his bullshit. I stopped talking to them for a year and am thinking about stopping again.
Regardless of their overflowing well of support, I’m still pretty convinced that neither I nor any other left-of-left individual is actually safe in the United States anymore. I don’t feel welcome here now with this regime, and I feel like that’s not going to get better anytime soon.
And I think I’ll be less chilled and more able to be a loud leftist activist on the internet from outside our borders, for now.
So in early May, I saw a deal for a one-way ticket from JFK to Zagreb for under $400. With the current circumstances (it’s late May 2026 as I write this), I figured that wasn’t going to get cheaper. Yesterday I looked again and it was $900+ for any ticket I could find.
I love both Zagreb’s gritty, arty darkness and Split’s sunny, happy beachness. Some of my best memories are from my visits to Croatia; I’ve been an enthusiast for Eastern and Central European folk musics since college and it’s just a wonderful place with wonderful people. And Ćevapčići.
So I figured, most-reasonable-case scenario would be that I go for a week or two, Eurail pass my butt around, find myself again after this recent horrible life-rending breakup, and then find myself’s way back from Berlin at the end for another few hundred bucks.
But I’m not sure if I’ll want to come back at all. I do think I could find work there if I wanted to stay. I can’t stay more than 180 days in Schengen zone without permanent residence approved, though, so I’m investigating that. One mechanism is to have a specific dollar amount in the bank to “prove that [I] will not be using Croatian social services.”
I’m never going back to corporate life, but the last two years mostly-unemployed have depleted all of my savings despite a little success here and otherwise doing small technical gigs (hit me up if you have a software product that needs direction or polish or business-side guidance).
I might be able to achieve that number freelancing and getting more support here on Substack.
That’s most of what I know so far. I have a tentative agenda that I’ll add below.
I’d love to talk about all this with you and hear your experiences about long- or short-term visits to these places, or get recommendations for things to see or cities to add to the trip.
In my heart — at least for right now — I feel pulled. I feel like I should be over there, like there’s something waiting for me there, creatively or professionally. (And I guess I hope romantically, too.)
I think I want to establish an alternative home-base for my family, who thankfully are living in Canada right now, right across the border from me. I honestly feel like this kind of a move can actually bring me closer to my kids emotionally — right now it’s just a slog with a civil service job to pay the bills in a tiny, remote, rural US town, and if the regime cuts funding to Rural Development / USDA, which completely seems like something they’ll do, my job goes away too.
I’d be so excited to share a new daily routine, frequent adventures, museums, European culture with them every single day, and right now all I have to share at the end of a day is pretty similar to “how was school” —> “fine” conversation that comes in my direction.
I want to share something meaningful with them at the end of a day. And I want to keep being a thorn in the side of MAGA, and I want to stay safe.
Reader, please talk me out of it, or talk me into it.
Phase 1: The Pre-Pass Buffer (July 29 – August 1)
July 29: Arrival & Mountain Transit
Action: Land in Zagreb and head immediately to the coast. Purchase a standalone regional train ticket to save your Eurail days.
Transit: Take the InterCity train (IC 523) leaving Zagreb Glavni Kolodvor at 13:49, arriving in Split at 21:47. (Backup: Catch the summer night sleeper train leaving Zagreb at 00:46 if your flight lands late).
July 30 – August 1: Split
Lodging: En Route Studio or similar private stone-walled studio near Diocletian’s Palace.
Music/Culture: Skip the commercial beach clubs; target Klub Kocka (located in the basement of the Youth Cultural Center) for authentic local underground bass and garage nights.
Phase 2: The 5-Day Eurail Pass Circuit (August 1 – August 15)
Leg 1: Split to Zagreb (August 1 – August 3)
Transit (Aug 1): Board the morning InterCity train (IC 520) at 07:54 from Split, arriving in Zagreb at 16:04.
Pass Status: Travel Day 1 Activated. Compulsory summer seat reservation required.
Lodging: Swanky Mint (Industrial-chic private loft rooms).
Music Venue: Masters—an intimate, highly respected, wood-lined underground house and techno basement hidden inside a local tennis club complex.
Leg 2: Zagreb to Ljubljana (August 3 – August 4)
Transit (Aug 3): Take the direct regional connection along the Sava River (~2 hours, 15 minutes).
Pass Status: Travel Day 2 Used. No reservations required.
Lodging: Boutique Hostel Angel or Hostel Zzz (Streamlined, quiet private rooms).
Music Venue: Klub K4—the absolute foundation of Slovenian underground electronic music since 1989, specializing in techno, breakbeats, and syncopated UK sounds.
Leg 3: Ljubljana to Vienna (August 4 – August 7)
Transit (Aug 4): Board the direct EuroCity alpine train climbing through the historic Semmering Pass (~6 hours).
Pass Status: Travel Day 3 Used. Summer seat reservation highly recommended.
Lodging: Superbude Wien Prater (Locked in). Funky, artist-driven theme room with a direct view of the Prater amusement park.
Music Venues: You are steps away from Pratersauna (multi-room club built inside a 1960s diving sauna) and a quick U-Bahn ride to Grelle Forelle (dark, clinical, strict no-photos club with a pristine Function-One sound system).
Leg 4: Vienna to Prague (August 7 – August 11)
Transit (Aug 7): Board the high-speed Austrian Railjet heading north (~4 hours).
Pass Status: Travel Day 4 Used. Mandatory seat reservation required for crossing into the Czech Republic.
Lodging: MeetMe23 or Luma Terra Prague (Industrial-chic boutique private rooms located right by the Main Train Station to avoid dragging bags over old cobblestones).
Music Venues: Head to the post-industrial Holešovice district to target Ankali (a dim, community-focused techno/house space in a former soap factory) and Fuchs2 (leftfield electronics on an island in the Vltava River).
Leg 5: Prague to Berlin (August 11 – August 15+)
Transit (Aug 11): Take the EuroCity train through the Elbe River valley and the sandstone formations of Saxon Switzerland (~4 hours, 30 minutes).
Pass Status: Travel Day 5 Used (Final Day). Mandatory summer seat reservation required.
Lodging: Michelberger Hotel (quirky, independent design rooms with raw timber and concrete) or Locke at East Side Gallery (modern mid-century service apartments with kitchenettes right on the Spree).
Music Venues: You are anchored right on the Friedrichshain/Kreuzberg border. Target Tresor (the legendary industrial bunker/heating plant on Köpenicker Straße), Watergate (rolling deep house with river views), or check mid-week listings for specialized ambient/hardware synthesizer showcases at Funkhaus Berlin.
Flight Exit Strategy
The Hub: Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER).
The Advantage: Keeping your return open-ended gives you total flexibility. Because Berlin is a major international hub with low-cost transatlantic carriers (like Norse Atlantic, Icelandair, and British Airways), booking a short-notice one-way ticket back to the US from BER will cost significantly less ($300–$450 USD) than trying to piece together a last-minute flight out of a smaller regional airport like Zagreb or Split.
You look great. You made a great decision. Never look back.
do what you feel in your heart my friend!